The Crucifixion of the Intelligence
by Acharya S
Originally published in The Hiss Quarterly
I haven't seen Mel Gibson's bloody movie, "The Passion of The Christ," and I don't plan to
anytime soon. Since I'm an expert on Christian mythology, however, I'm qualified anyway to speak against the
grotesque slop that keeps coming out of Hollyweird and passing itself off as "history."
Every year, the hideous fable called the "life of Christ" is brought to us in living technigory
in some fashion or another, based on the "true story" of Jesus, the Virgin Mary or, recently, Judas, whose snarling macho countenance faced off with an effeminate and ineffectual
Heyzoos on the small screen. When it comes to pious nonsense, the credibility milking machine never shuts
down, as even the respected PBS and Discovery get in on the credulous cash cow with their "true" and "accurate"
depictions of Jesus's purported life.
With cash registers exploding, blood vessels bursting and audiences fainting as they haven't
since "The Exorcist," the latest Jesus flick may be dismissed as more mindless mayhem and pabulum portraying a
FICTIONAL tale about a guy who NEVER existed. Can I shout that any louder? No, Jesus Christ was NOT the only
begotten son of God. Nor was he a groovy guru, a political rebel, a kindly rabbi, an itinerant healer, a cynic
sage, a gay, a woman, a massage therapist, a tattoo artist or an alien. The story in the New Testament is fiction
based on the numerous preceding myths of gods and goddesses throughout the known world. Thus, the point is entirely
MOOT as to who killed Jesus. No, no, no, it wasn't "the Jews," whoever they were. Nor was it "the Romans." No one
killed Christ, because Christ never lived.
It didn't happen.
Get over it. Time to create a better story that centers on life instead of death. Especially the
hideous and cruel torture and death of the Almighty God Hisself! Truly, I say unto you, the story is
Having seen several clips from his latest ultra-violent movie, I would concur with the critic
who feels Gibson's body of work reveals a singularly sadistic side of the man. Mel certainly loves to eviscerate
and exsanguinate his characters. The more rational among us must know that the all-powerful God of the cosmos
- which is what Gibson says he believes Jesus was - would not and could not bleed and suffer for any
reason, i.e. "good judgment; sound sense." That Jesus or any other "son of God" endured a horrible, ignominious
death for our sins is an absurd and asininenay, barbaric and savage idea that has possessed the human mind for far
In reality, the Passion of Christ or any other god (and there have been several with nearly
the exact same tale) is based on human sacrifice, specifically the "sacred king ritual." Ritual human sacrifice
is a vile, disgusting affair practiced worldwide for millennia using countless victims from virtually every
culture, encompassing all ages and both genders. This sick and sickening rite given a perversely warm, fuzzy
feeling by being called a "passion" is the most contemptible and depraved act humans can commit. Yet, this
revolting ritual murder has been perpetrated in the name of the good and gracious God, to atone for "sins" that
humans were endowed with in the first place by the same "merciful" Creator! Indeed, according to religious
fanatics, the torture and death of an innocent human being in a sin-atoning ritual constitutes God's "Highest
Plan!" And we are to be reminded of this crime against reason and sanity endlessly, ad infinitum and ad
I, for one, am sick of hearing about it. I've had enough. Let us write a new, uplifting and
inspiring chapter in Earth's history, and get rid of this awful, stupid fiction that keeps humankind deranged and
retarded. For starters, if by some chance you find yourself dragged to Gibson's gruesome film, just keep reminding
yourself, "It's only a movie. It's only a movie." Just like "Halloween" or "Nightmare on Elm Street."
Next, to shake off all the horror and evil, proceed to the nearest retro theater to see Grant
and Hepburn's "Bringing Up Baby," with its far more enlightening plot and ennobling characters.