The Crucifixion of the Intelligence

I haven't seen Mel Gibson's bloody movie, "The Passion of The Christ," and I don't plan to anytime soon. Since I'm an expert on Christian mythology, however, I'm qualified anyway to speak against the grotesque slop that keeps coming out of Hollyweird and passing itself off as "history."

Every year, the hideous fable called the "life of Christ" is brought to us in living technigory in some fashion or another, based on the "true story" of Jesus, the Virgin Mary or, recently, Judas, whose snarling macho countenance faced off with an effeminate and ineffectual Heyzoos on the small screen. When it comes to pious nonsense, the credibility milking machine never shuts down, as even the respected PBS and Discovery get in on the credulous cash cow with their "true" and "accurate" depictions of Jesus's purported life.

With cash registers exploding, blood vessels bursting and audiences fainting as they haven't since "The Exorcist," the latest Jesus flick may be dismissed as more mindless mayhem and pabulum portraying a FICTIONAL tale about a guy who NEVER existed. Can I shout that any louder? No, Jesus Christ was NOT the only begotten son of God. Nor was he a groovy guru, a political rebel, a kindly rabbi, an itinerant healer, a cynic sage, a gay, a woman, a massage therapist, a tattoo artist or an alien. The story in the New Testament is fiction based on the numerous preceding myths of gods and goddesses throughout the known world. Thus, the point is entirely MOOT as to who killed Jesus. No, no, no, it wasn't "the Jews," whoever they were. Nor was it "the Romans." No one killed Christ, because Christ never lived.

Period.

It didn't happen.

Get over it. Time to create a better story that centers on life instead of death. Especially the hideous and cruel torture and death of the Almighty God Hisself! Truly, I say unto you, the story is despicable.

Having seen several clips from his latest ultra-violent movie, I would concur with the critic who feels Gibson's body of work reveals a singularly sadistic side of the man. Mel certainly loves to eviscerate and exsanguinate his characters. The more rational among us must know that the all-powerful God of the cosmos - which is what Gibson says he believes Jesus was - would not and could not bleed and suffer for any reason, i.e. "good judgment; sound sense." That Jesus or any other "son of God" endured a horrible, ignominious death for our sins is an absurd and asininenay, barbaric and savage idea that has possessed the human mind for far too long.

In reality, the Passion of Christ or any other god (and there have been several with nearly the exact same tale) is based on human sacrifice, specifically the "sacred king ritual." Ritual human sacrifice is a vile, disgusting affair practiced worldwide for millennia using countless victims from virtually every culture, encompassing all ages and both genders. This sick and sickening rite given a perversely warm, fuzzy feeling by being called a "passion" is the most contemptible and depraved act humans can commit. Yet, this revolting ritual murder has been perpetrated in the name of the good and gracious God, to atone for "sins" that humans were endowed with in the first place by the same "merciful" Creator! Indeed, according to religious fanatics, the torture and death of an innocent human being in a sin-atoning ritual constitutes God's "Highest Plan!" And we are to be reminded of this crime against reason and sanity endlessly, ad infinitum and ad nauseam.

I, for one, am sick of hearing about it. I've had enough. Let us write a new, uplifting and inspiring chapter in Earth's history, and get rid of this awful, stupid fiction that keeps humankind deranged and retarded. For starters, if by some chance you find yourself dragged to Gibson's gruesome film, just keep reminding yourself, "It's only a movie. It's only a movie." Just like "Halloween" or "Nightmare on Elm Street."

Next, to shake off all the horror and evil, proceed to the nearest retro theater to see Grant and Hepburn's "Bringing Up Baby," with its far more enlightening plot and ennobling characters.